My name is Irina.
For the past 20 years, an alternative lifestyle has been a big part of my life.
I have always been intrigued by the body’s ability to heal and restore itself.
I don’t claim to be a healer or a guru – Your Healer and Guru reside within You!
My role here is to encourage you to have a richer and more fulfilling life.
I am here to support the journey you are on – to Your Inner Peace.
~ SoSubtle – Self-Healing Companion
What are my spiritual beliefs and how do they relate to the work I do?
I see Universal Wisdom – in Everything and Everyone! I don’t subscribe to any one religion.
Even though I never suggest my beliefs to anyone, my work and my life reflect these beliefs.
If this doesn’t resonate with you, I understand. And it might be best to find a companion who will be a better fit for you.
But if you’re receptive, I am here to be of service!
(My story in a nutshell)
I grew up Christian, and I always had questions from a very young age. Well, many, many questions.
And answers like “Because I said so!” wouldn’t satisfy my little human brainiac. 😁
I was that kid, who could not accept information as truth from those who didn’t deliver what they preached.
Some of the questions I had wouldn’t let me sleep at night and turned into routine nightmares!
Why does god display behaviors like hate, jealousy, anger, mistrust, murder, pain, etc…. but he condemns these demeanors in “his children” people?
Why god places curses on animals, lands, and nations?
How god can be holy and also be so evil?
Why god doesn’t have a wife? 🤷🏻♀️ Why do men rule the church?
(the older I got – the more questions followed)
Why do I need to “accept god” into my heart?
Who I am letting into my heart?
(Hunted by monsters trying to enter my heart was my most recurring nightmare!😩)
How many gods are there? Who are they? Why do they need to come into my heart?
It seemed the more I questioned god the more I would get terrorized by more wicked dreams.
Am I not allowed to question this god? Is this my punishment for not having faith?
(as I grew older – my questions got more intimidating)
Why do we have over 4,000 registered religions? How many other unregistered sects are there?
Whos god is right?
What if I am prying to the wrong god? What if we all pray to the wrong god?
Why do I need to pray to god if he is an all-knowing god? Doesn’t he already know my desires?
What bible would I need to read if I was born into a Muslim family? or Catholic? or Buddhist? 🤫
Why is Jesus also a god?
Why he had to suffer and die if he is a god?
“He did it for you!”
How do bloodshed and pain serve anyone?!
Why does god participate in blood rituals?
Why do Christians drink “blood” and eat the “flesh” of Christ?
( A religious monthly ritual – drinking wine a symbol of Christ’s blood. Eating bread is a symbol of his flesh)
Why do I have to follow rituals to be saved? Who do I need to be saved from?
Why? Why? Why?
“Follow me! Trust me!”
No! No! No! I can’t! I won’t! I don’t want to be a cannibal!
Someone, please help me! (the nightmares persisted) 😩
(more questions followed)
Who wrote the bible? Who translated it? Why it has so many translations?
Why? Why I do not believe like everyone else around me?
How did my family end up in this religion? Did they ever have questions about it? Or did no one ever question it?
Why some of the books in the bible were removed?
Who makes these decisions? Who decides what stays and what is taboo?
This was my internal world for many years… Chaotic and fearful is an understatement!
Unable to share or describe my inner torment with those around me, the amount of fear I was acquiring was overwhelming.
My little brain had to make sense of all this horror! 🤯
And nightmares continued…
Over the years I became very good at suppressing those fears and nightmares, but the older I grew they started to affect my day-to-day life!
Despite my many questions I was told to believe the given to me narratives and stop questioning the holy bible – “Just have trust!”
Why? No matter how much I want to believe the story I can’t find the trust. Is something wrong with me?
What are these mysterious texts and rituals? How and why do we get into them? How do religions originate?
I wanted to know everything about all religions!
When my family was firmly against me visiting different churches to satisfy my curiosity… that pushed me to question even more!
It became extremely overwhelming to relate with my family and church friends! I couldn’t be fully myself and I couldn’t comply either.
So, by age 17, I left the Baptist congregation which distanced me from my family even further.
Right after leaving, I was frightened to look into different theologies, cults, and spiritual beliefs.
What if this hostile god continues to punish me for my curiosity? (deep fear-based conditioning that held me in anxiety for years)
Despite all my fears, I found myself digging and learning about numerous sects, and religions – searching, looking, and comparing ancient text translations in hopes of answers.
This left me even more confused, paranoid, and frustrated. I now had even more questions. (can you relate?)
And that went on for many years while I was navigating my personal life.
Until one day, my nervous system could not hold! I found myself in bed paralyzed by pain for weeks…
Unable to move… in pain and silence….
This somehow allowed me to revisit the fears I had been running away from (unconsciously) for all those years. But this time as an adult – mentally equipped! 😊
I recognized how my unresolved childhood fears steered my choices and decisions… How I lived was mostly influenced by these fears.
Over the years I learned that I am not alone and my story is not unique after all.
I found sound and mindful living allows me to reunite with parts of me I neglected, and ignored(out of fear) for so many years.
Your story might be different… but the fears we experience and hold within us, as kids and as adults, are similar.
If you resonate with what you just learned about me…
I am here! `